You get ugly.
Seriously! I have permanent bug eyes from lack of sleep and a ton more wrinkles from frowning whilst trying to work out what the tiny human is trying to tell me.
You get fat.
But not how you think. I was back to normal in 4 weeks. HOWEVER, I then sat on the lounge for the following 4 months and ate 2 minute noodles and watched reality TV. (Heaven).
You get mean.
I dead-armed a 10 year old kid on a scooter and yelled "WATCH IT YOU F*CKING DEADSHIT" because he got too close to the baby. (So you also get bogan, or bogan-er)
You get wild.
I already had a headstart on this one, but when organisation for a night out rivals that of a international music festival, you better believe that you are going to make that shit count.
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| Actual bruise my mate got on our last night out |
You get drunk(er)
My first drink of the day kept creeping forward and when it got to midday I knew it was time to go back to work.
You cease giving a shit about house stuff.
Why yes, that is vomit on the Missoni throw rug.
Don't you think garbage bins look better on the kitchen bench!
Please sit down, um, let me just move the, um, um, um. Let's stand!
Please don't take this ridiculous blog seriously. Please no mothers group hate-mail!
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