The Fashion Industry has a Sense of Humour #2

Behold.... the second most expensive handbag in the world....

TA-DA!



Louis Vuitton Urban Satchel



If this was worth $150,000 USD in 2008, I'm going to get the floor of my car valued, as it is almost an exact replica. 

Jersey, Essex and ..... Newcastle?

America has Jersey Girls
England has Essex Girls

And does Australia have ..... Newcastle girls?

Lately I've been noticing something about Gen Y/Z girls.  Apart from being utterly gorgeous, their hair and teeth seem to have gotten longer & whiter, while their clothes have gotten shorter and tighter. 

Their tans are orange and their behaviour is messy (I too am guilty on both counts here).  You need a step ladder to get into their shoes and a pressure cleaner to get their makeup off. 

Essex Girls

Jersey Girls

So is Newcastle Australia's answer?  God I hope so.  Imagine our reality show? 

Guilty Admission: I actually fit into most of these catergories.  Maybe all.

Where the Frock Are You?

Yes I realise that this should be the title of my blog.  Alcohol poisoning (not literally), general hot mess behaviour (literally) and my real job are to blame.   Be back soon.

In the meantime, here is a copy of the best photo of all time.

Motley Crue - Backstage in Glasgow 2005

Blasphemy

This needs to stop.  My two worlds cannot collide.  Fashion cannot venture into the world of 80's heavy metal.  It simply cannot.

Miley Cyrus

Bitch, puh-lease.  I would wager my entire Iron Maiden vinyl collection that ol' Hannah Montana here couldn't name me one song.   

Demi Lovato

This is the hardest one for me to stomach and I don't think it's a coincidence that she was born the year glam/hair metal died.  But at least she's been to rehab, giving her something in common with the genre. 

Megan Fox

It's common knowledge that Dave Mustaine is a bit of an arse and this could well be his comeuppance - way to lose your metal cred.   Lars Ulrich probably paid her.

Nick Lachey

An all-singing, all-dancing boy-band member in an Acca Dacca shirt.  Bon Scott would be rolling over in his grave.

And these are only a few examples, but they are everywhere - I've also seen Jess Hart in Def Leppard, Mischa Barton in Judas Priest and Zac Efron in Van Halen.  It's the ultimate in blasphemy and it really has to stop, otherwise where do we go from here?

Posh Spice front row at Anthrax? 

Gwyneth dating Lemmy?  

Oprah on Rock of Love?   

I REPEAT.  THIS.HAS.TO.STOP. 

Boy Style

After witnessing husband in one too many ridiculous outfits I took matters into my own hands and stuck pictures of stylish male celebrities inside his wardrobe.  See photos below.

This may sound mean, but when you come home from a girls weekend away and he's been out to breakfast with stylish friends and is wearing a matching parachute material tracksuit (and he didn't jog there), you need to take action.

I once saw him at the pub in a khaki t-shirt and khaki cargo shorts.  It looked like a male version of the playsuit.  I pretended I didn't see him.  And it wasn't because he was camoflauged.

It actually seems to be working.  You're welcome.

Girl Crushes

I looooooove women (in a non-sexual way), they are just so much more fun to look at than men!  I had a bit of trouble narrowing my girl crushes down to 5. 

Upon review it seems I have a 'type'.  I obviously like the curvy girls.  It must be part of my Italian obsession.

Number 5  

Eva Mendes

I once wrote in my NW magazine column that Eva Mendes could make a colostomy bag look sexy, that was when we had to get a silent number...

Number 4  

Christina Hendricks

How hot is Joan on Mad Men?   

Number 3  

Pamela Anderson

I know she left the hot in the 90's but I love me some Pammy.  She gets it.

Number 2

Kim Kardashian

Does she even talk?  Do I even care?  I just want to stare at her.  I could watch Keeping up with the Kardashians with the sound muted.  Those curves and that face are RIDICULOUS.  I do not understand how people can function around this woman. 

Number 1  

Chelsea Handler

My true love.  She's everything I want in a woman.  Hilarious, boozer, irreverent, fun and uninhibited.  She is easily the funniest person on the planet and I have no idea how she gets away with the stuff she says (it's all in the delivery). 

Leopard Print

I need an intervention.

If you see me trying to purchase any more leopard print, please for the love of God, STOP ME.